I’m in the middle of enjoying a roast beef sandwich, barbecue chips, a granny smith apple, a brownie, and an Arnold Palmer, and all I can think about is whether or not I should go and try to score an extra sandwich before they’re put away.
The convention workers, seeing that everyone had already gotten their lunch were beginning to shut things down, and who can blame them. They’re probably thinking, “Now, that everyone’s done, I can pack this shit up and maybe go home early.” I’m watching this take place. Table by table is cleared and I’m having a real Indiana Jones sliding underneath a descending death door, except my fedora is a goddamned sandwich.
Where the hell does this compulsion come from? I can’t get through a meal without pondering whether or not I should eat more. I don’t even give my stomach time to register that it’s sated and in turn relay that message to my brain. It’s like a need my gut to swell up and hurt before I look down and admit that maybe I should stop. Is that what “full” is to me? Not content, but stuffed? At times I think it is.
I didn’t go and get another sandwich. I slowed down on the food in front of me, trying to really taste and enjoy what I was putting into my body. And I got a cup of coffee afterward. There’s something really nice about an afternoon cup of coffee. You know that it’ll most likely keep you up late, but that doesn’t matter. A post-lunch coffee puts a nice cap on the meal.
It’s important to me that I make healthy eating choices. I just read about Britain’s heaviest man passing away. He weighed 65 stones and was only 33 years old. I had no idea what a stone was (turns out 1 stone=14 pounds, so this fella weighed approximately 910 pounds…shit!). The article states that he was depressed after his mom died and that he turned to junk food for comfort, and that it simply added up over time. And that’s the frightening part. I make excuses, “Oh, it’s just a little bit,” “It’s a special occasion,” “I’ll just have less tomorrow.” But all these excuses start to add up and I’ve begun putting weight on again. Slinging pizzas hasn’t helped the cause, as pop and pizza three times a week has stacked up and I can see it hanging off me. Can’t have that. I need to be healthy. I need to be around for my family.
Tomorrow is a new day! Ever onward! Huzzah!